Marriages - Divorce or true love for ever and ever

About one out of three marriages ends in divorce. In America almost one in two. But why? People get married because they love each other. They want to be together for ever. At their Weddingday they are willing the have this special bound of love for ever and still so many people get divorced.

Shouldn´t it be scaring for people who want to get married? I think people shouldn´t!!! If they love each other and they want to show their partner that they love him or her, of course they can get married. Just because so many other marriages broke up it doesn´t mean that EVERY marriage will break up.

The main reaon why people get married is LOVE.

Either just to show everyone how much they love each othe or just to have this special feeling "We are married!"
But there are several other reasons: pregnancy by accident, taxes or money. In some other cultures marriages get arrangend, so the persons have to marrie without loving or even knowing eath other.

As already mention people aso get married because of money or taxes. Things go much easer when you are married.
But what when there are children? A pregnancy by accident: People get married because of the children, they want the best for them:
But also children suffer the most after a divorce. They get bribed by mum and dad with expensive presents or promises. But all they actually want is that their parents love each other. Sometimes the children get so much demaged after a divorce that they have to be treated with medication or psychaitric treatment.

Why do people get divorced??
Well, some can´t just live with one person for the rest of their life. They can´t deal with that feeling to be bounded forever. Other just do not love eacht other anymore or there was a occurence like getting betrayed.

So, we see that that marriages are something realy compicated, but on the other side so easy. It is the way to show true and never ending love. It is the bond between to people, it can be the start for rising a family.

That is a nother important point: After marriage mostly women give up their job to stay at home and rise the children.
That´s why some companies may say they rather want a man for the job than a women because the woman might get pregnant. These days also men can stay at home and look for the children while women work and bring home the money.

So, all in all and beside the fact that so many marriages break up, it is still a romantic and lovely way to show how much you love your partner and marriage can make your partnership stronger. It is a bound for ever and ever made out of love, trust, integrity and care and it is a perfect start for rising a lovely family:)

Kate Chopin - The story of an hour

Kate Chopin is an american writer born in 1850. She wrote several short stories and novels. She is known to be a pioneer in the treatment of sexuality in American literature, discussing women´s desire to become a person in her own right.One of these novels is "The story of an hour".

In the story it shows how an hour can change a woman´s life.
After her sister told her about the bad news, Mrs. Mallard goes up into her room and thinks about her husband...She is actually realy happy about his death. That may sound weird, but we have to consider the time! Women were dependend on their husbands.
We don´t know why Mrs. Mallard is so happy. But she allways keeps wispering: " Free soul and free body." That show us, that she was dependend on her husband. He owns her.
So, Mrs. Mallard is sitting in her armchair thinking about her husband. She arrives the decision that she loved her husband sometimes but actually she is happy about his death. She feels free, her soul feels free.
After an hour of thinking Mrs. Mallard goes downstairs. Her husband just opend the door, he is alive. But it is to late: Mrs. Mallard died, she died of joy - joy that kills.
But what a joy was that? Joy because her husband came back, because he is still alive? Or because she was so happy about his death, that she died of joy?
We dont´t know!!

Bonding

Through the whole life people are bonded to other people. You need friends, family and partners to be happy, to talk to or just to have fun!

The maternal-bond is considered as one of the strongest bonds. It is the bonding between a mother and her child and starts with the birth of the child by laying the baby on the mother´s chest just after she gave birth. This bond will last through the whole life.

This bond is not to be mixes with the mother-bond. Some men got this bond and are excessively attached to their mother and still live with her while these men actually are expected to be indipendend at that age(30+).

In contrast to this maternal-bonding, the father-infant bond is developing with the growth and develop of the child. When daddies bathe, feed, carry ot soothe the baby it shows a greater bond. In some households children grow up without their dad so the father-infant bond doesn´t exist. In general the father-bon or paternal bond is more dominant in a child´s life after language developed.

A bond everyone should have is the human bond. A bond between two people. It refers to the process for formation of a close personal relationship. It can be between parent and child, friends or relatives.
Here also a good interpersonal chemistry plays a vital role.

Close to this interpersonal chemistry is the male/female bond. It defines the bonding between males/females excluding the other sex. Like girlsfriends going shopping and having a coffee together or two mates who drink beer and watch soccer in a bar.

Some of these bonds get even stronger or develop by using social networks. Which may include up to 150 people. With the recent popularity of the internet, websites like facebook, Myspace or Twitter encourage people to increase their friendship network: some people have friends in facebook without even knowing them or being friends.

In a relationship bonding plays a vital role. The affectional bond (emotional bond) refers to the tendency of humans to attach. They need seek closeness to the other person and feel good when he or she is present.
A nother bond, close to the relationship is the erotic bond. According to the Johnn Money´s book `love maps`(1988) every person has a love map wich includes his or hers experiences and predilections for something. It contains positiv and negativ factors, e.g. what they are attracted to: blond hair, blue eyes, sense of humour...

The humans best friend is the dog: human-animal bond. It is defined as a connection between people and animals and known to reduce the physiological characteristic of stress.

Some people treat their pets like their own children, e.g. clothes for dogs, expensive huts made out of gold...
Also this bond is used by retards. The dolphin therapy for example.

So, we can say bonding is important for us. We need others to be happy, to talk to or just to have fun with them..no matter if it is our mum, a good friend or a dog;)

Why men don´t listen and women can´t read maps!

There is a stereotyped female and a stereotyped male:

Men never listen, they hate shopping and romantic dinners. Men love beer and women with big boobs. They fart, burp and do not realy care about personal hygiene. They like cars, big machines and meat and rather watch TV and drink beer with their best friend than cuddle with their girlfriend. Men wont be able to through the household, ironing, cooking or washing-no way!And the most important!! Men LOVE sex! They want it everyday at every time and dont care about feelings and emotion.
That´s how men are...

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? Do you really think men are all the same?
Sure, most men like beer and spending the night infront of the TV, with their best friend watching football, but there are also men who like wine and just sitting on the couch reading a good book and having a glas of good wine.
The fact that men love women with big boobs is well-known and that´s a shame!
Lots of women worry about their boobs, about their legs or their bumb. "I am too fat, my boobs are to small and my bumb is huge..." Hey girls, don´t worry so much! How should a men love you when you yourself cant love you? It is a all-round cliché that men like women with big boobs more than women with smaler ones. Also men don´t always prefere girls who are skinny, they want something to touch!!

And women, don´t think men are not romantic!! A lot of men have a romantic side. They just don´t show it! A long walk at moonshine, roses and chocolate..Just tell him you need more romantic ( there are also couple of women who hate romantic!)

The wish of a perfect "hosueman", who cooks, does the washing and looks after the children...just a dream? Maybe in the past but in these days it is not unusually that the women is working and the men is staying at home and throughing the household.

And the never-ending story about the men who always wants sex: Well, we are all like animals who want to mate with each other. Men just follow this instinct. It is not always the thing to have sex, it is to show their love. Would you want to have sex with someone you don´t love? They like toughing the female body, feeling the heat and the smooth skin. They love our breasts( no matter what size) and they love our smell, our breath and our whole body. So remember this the next time!!
To bring to a close: Every men is different, you can´t put them in one box, they just have one thing in common: they love us women!

The Women, a open book or a only mystery. They are crestfallen romantic, love shopping, shoes and chocolate. They can talk and talk for hours on the phone about god and the world and alongside do hundreds of other things like cleaning the house, painting their nails, reading a gossip magazine and eat or watch TV.
Shopping-tours for hours and grumping about aching feet because of their high-heels.
Women are jealous. Just one look at a nother girl and you will get the devil look!!
And their indecision nucleas: "Darling, shall i rather wear the black dress or the red one? Does the green or the purple bag fit better?" A question a guy never could answer.
Women need their best friend, there are things they just can trust to their girlfriend.

But not all women are the same. It is a stereotype. Lots of women hate shopping for hours and don´t like high-heels. They don´t care if the bag goes with their dress or not and they rather eat a steak than chocolate. Some women hate romantic and some other women hate talking on the phone.
Some are more jealous than others and some aren´t jealous at all( but I think that rarity)
So the women are just as different as men are. That´s how it is supposed to be. Everyone is different and has different interests.
I think there is always a bit of a cliché. Just think about it;)

So even if you are jealous, love chocolate and like shoppinh for hours or you like beer, watching football and cars! You will find the right partner, for sure!

Courtship - When boys act like gentleman and girls are treated like real ladies

It already starts in kindergartenage: a little boy and a little girl sit in the sandpit. The boy is building a tower out of sand to impress the girl. He might give her his bucket and scoop...

Courtship traditionally means the "wooing" of a female by a male. Is it just the act of love by giving her a bucket or a "woooh" when she´s walking past shaking her sexy bum.
Now or hundreds of years ago men/boy used to court for a girl.
These days we have several opportunities for courting: internet, chatting, phone and cell-phone, online dating and lot of other things. More about that later.

But how did all these men court for their women in the las century or even when they didn´t have internet.
Here is a short trip back how the courting or wooing developed and changed:

In the Middle-Age in Europe royal families usually received a ship from a princess´fiancé upon her engagement and the ship would be displayed in the courtyard for one month prior the marriage ceremony.

Later the men wrote letters to their beloved. A nice exapmle is Shakespeare´s Romeo and Juliet: Romeo comes up to Juliet and is singing to her or brining a poem forward down at her balcony.

Other countries, other cultures: For example in Japan where a tpe of courtship, called Omiai, exsists: Parents hire a matchmaker to find the perfect partner for their child. The computer finds a potential match and if the couple agrees a formal meeting with the matchmaker and often the parents is arranged.

In other cultures it is much more different: like in Indian or Muslim cultures where the women get oppressed by their fathers and then after a arranged marriage their husband continues opressing her.

The actual Dating: After the courting a real date usually follows... They meet to get to know each other and to figure out weather the other one could be a potential partner. " Same interests, humour and behaviour " play a vital role.
These dates can taking place in a restaurant, a bar, a café, in a park for a walk..these are all the classical dating places.These days it is not unusually to date in the internet. Via facebook, twitter, MSN, icq, MySpace and several other online dating pages millions of people get to know each other by sending pictures, chatting or having a visual camera date via web-cam.

Back to the classic-western dating roles: It was a matter of course that the man payed the bill in the café or restaurant. In recent time, the practice to "go Dutch" ( splitt the expense) has emerged.
A little story...
From the beginning of the first date they get to know the other one pretty well (first impression!!). Afterwards they are going to decide weather they wanna see each other again or not.
Reasons for not meeting again could be: tied down, arising from loss of opportunity to date a variety of other people or they just din´d "fit" with the other on. (Different agendas, not the same humour or interests...)

But also there could be some reasons for a second date, because these two we just into each other. They could talk and talk for hours, laugh together and having fun.
So several other dates would follow and maybe on some day they would "go steady" and say: " We are a couple, we are boyfriend and girlfriend!"

Weather in the Middle-Ages, with a match-maker, the internet or just meeting and a cup of coffe toghether..
Courtship is a wonderfull thing and women love being treated like ladies sometimes!! So you guys...even if your girls wants to splitt the expense at the first date, the second date you could pay her coffe;)

Jane Austen - loved by readers all over the world

Jane Auten is a well known and much-loved english author. She was born on the 16th of December in 1775 as the 7th child and the second daughter of a Hampshire clergyman called George Austen and her mother Cassandra.They all had a realy good and close relationship. Their childhood was charactaized with creativity and open learning.

Jane always loved reading and started writing stories and burlesque novels at an early age. Her dad promoted her writing by supplyinh her his books and writing equipment to explore her crative part.From 1787 to 1793 she wrote several short stories which dealed with the certain social conventions.

After her fathers death Jane and her mother and her sister moved to Southhamopton. In 1809 Jane and her friend Martha moved to Chawton where one of her brothers had a house. That is where Jane wrote nearly all of her novels. These days it is a small museum.

Jane Austen led a quiet life and never got married, her descriptions of contemporary society and of the relationships between women and men even today are widly acclaimend and loved by readers all over the world.

At the time Jane Austen used to live, society was hierachily structured:
-the nobility: status generally hereditary.(king, queen.."blue" blood)
-the gentry:well-born people of a high social class
-the people in trade (--> standard of living is based on the money they earn)

The gentlemen and farmers used to live in at the countryside. They had nice and big houses and a huge garden where they had horses. The farmers had cattle and vegetable gardens.

The poor ones like the working class, people who worked in the factories used to live in town where it was noisy and dirty. They had to leave their houses at the country side because of the Industrial Revolution.

Compared to our time a family had more children. Marriages where arranged what means that the girls where not allowed to choose their husband in future, they had to marry the person their parents choose for them. The marriage was the basis of money and to keep the property within the family.
The oldest son would inherit the money and property of the parents. So all the other sons had to find career in the army, navy or clergy. ( Choise was very strict! and a lot of work)

The girls would never inherit something from their parents even if they where the firstborn. The only solution for them was to find an appropiate and rich husband to secure social prestige and nobility.
If a lady marries a men she would take the wholw title:

Prince-Princess Duke-Duches

Women were supposed to behave like women: table manners and forms of address!!

Back to Jane Austen: She wrote many novels and stories:

here are some of her greatest works:
-Sense and Sensibility (1811)
-Pride and Prejudice
-Emma

and several others...

Jane Austen is one of the greatest english writers in time, she got influenced by the society around her and we are happy to read her novels these days!!

Historical Development of the Women´s Rights Movement in the United States, Britain and Germany

When we have a look at the historical timeline we can see that mostly men did had the power and did something great! The founding fathers: were men! Who discovered America? A men! Who invented the phone? A men! It took a very long time before feminism started and women began to organize themselves.

United States
- Anti-Slavery Society influenced some white female campaigners and the womens right movement lead to the Seneca Falls Convention (1848).
-Foundation of the Working Woman´s Association in 1868.
-1869: American Woman Suffrage Association (AWSA)[conservatives] and B`National Woman´s Suffrage Association (NWAS) [radical feminists] are founded. --> agree to desirability of the vote
-1890: AWSA and NWAS build one organization: the Nationla Woman Suffrage Association
-1870s and 1880s: signed with "social purity" feminism, based on Evangelical principles like alcohol, violence and sexual excess. They are seen as masculine evils.
-1920: Amendment XIX is passed; it grants suffrage to women.

-1964: Civil Right Act prohibits discrimination.
-1965: National Organization of Women (NOW) is founded by Betty Friedan
-1970:Equal Pay Act
-1972Equal Rights Amendment Bill outlaws sex discrimination.
-1973:Women get the right to choose an abortion.



Britain
-middle of the 19th century: Industrial revolution and wealth of the British Empire created an army of working women (mill-girls, domestic servants, farm labourers, milliners, seamstresses, governesses)
-1840: International Anti-Slavery Convention: major issue, weather female delegates from the U.S. should be allowed to take part.
-1856: women are allowed to keep their own property and income. Married Woman´s Property Bill.
-1870: Parliamentary majority for a women´s enfranchisment Bill
-1901:a campaing organized by female cotton workers takes petition to Westminster; they are peaceful, non-militant but radical
-1903:Women´s Social and Political Union (WSPU) is founded by Emmeline Pankhurst (1858-1928), its members organize a militant, sometimes even violent suffrage campaign, culminating in arrests,hunger strikes and force-feeding
-1918:Representation of the People Act extends franchise to women over 30, who are hosueholders
-1928: Representation of people Act realizes democratic univeral suffrage.

The women´s civil right movement in the U.S. influences the dicussion in Britain:
-1970:Equal Pay Act (effective in 1975); --> equal pay for equal women.
-1975:Sex Discrimination Act (makes discrimination on the basis of sex unlawful in employment, education, provision of housing, goods, facilities and services and adverisment)
-1978: Finance Act (women who pay taxes on a pay as you earn basis are entitled tp their own tax rebates).

Germany
After tens of years of fighting for the right to vote and equality, a law is passed: AT the 12th November in 1918 women get suffrage in Germany. 82% of them use their right for voting in January 1919. 37 women become Assembly women in the parliament.
1908:victorian Great Britain was a role model for the german women.
-->destroyed windows and chained themselves to railings or wrote slogans onto royal golf meadows with acid. "votes for women!"
-around the 19th century women from the U.S. and Europe fighgt for suffrage and political equality.
-In Germany it already started around 1848 with the revolution. The claimed for better education for girls.

But isn´t there still a problem?? The famous "wage-gap" ???