Trip to the St. Dominikus Gymnasium in Karlsruhe - "hey, only girls here!"

It is the 19. april, 9am. Our Seminarkurs enters the catholic St. Dominikus Gymnasium in Karlsruhe. It is a nice building. Inside there are some artworks of students. Busy students are running around because the next lesson is just going to start. A normal school just like any other school without the thing that only girls come here.

About 720 girls are visiting this school compared to the Albertus-Magnus Gymnasium where 429 girls out of 921 students come every day.
My concern was to find out, why this girls chose a only-girls school and where they see the advantages instead of visiting a school for both sexes.
We started the mission in the principal´s room (of course she was a women;) ) and she told us something about her school. compared to our school the girls are really advanced. First of all in science because it is well-known that boys usually dominate in science.
After a little talk with the headmaster we were allocated into differnet classes.
My friend Janine and I were visitors in a 5th grade. After we introduced ourselves we took a seat in the back row and followed the lesson. The girls were quiet and listened to the teacher. The topic of the lesson was "poems". The girls started a groupwork
and had to find out (buy talking with each other and using a encyclopedia) what kind of job the author of the several poems could also have.
While the girls were talking in groups they were listening and really into each others suggestions. The whole groupworking was quiet and the girls were all working. While presenting their work the others were listening and if someone had a question they just put up their hands without screaming.

After the lesson was finished we interviewed the girls and asked them why they chose a school just for girls:
-"I already had some fiends here"
-"I don't like boys, they amuse me."
-"In primary school I usually was too shy to talk in class because I was afraid of talking infront of boys"

All in all we noticed that the girls prefered a school without boys because they were afraid talking infront of them or because they were amusing them.

We also asked the girls if the have more male or more female friends and all of them answered they have more female friends, because they go to a school just for girls but they also have male friends.

The break did already start and Janine and Me were watching the girls. They were sitting all around us and wanted to talk. They were interested in us and were really pleased to answer our questions.
None of them were running around and screaming like we are used to in our school.

Then we followed them to their next lesson: Sports.

The girls changed their stuff quiet quickly (probably too much talking in the changing rooms) and then they met in the sports hall.

Then all of them met with the teacher in the middle of the hall..EVERYONE was quiet, no talking, no wispering...nothing!!

They had to do some exercises with a rope and they all gave the best they could.

Later on we had the chance to interview some teachers. We asked them why they chose an only-girls school. Most of them said it is much easier to teach here. The girls are more quiet, they listen and they are pleased to learn something.

Still some of the teacher mentioned that they miss the boys in class. It is fact that different sexes express different, have other ideas and think in a different way.
All the teachers agreed and said it is proofed that the girls learn more and better without the boys, because they're not amused and they can show what they know without hesitating. Also special teaching methods can be used for the girls.

But now: the crucial question: Does it make sense to visit a school just for girls?
Well it is obviously proofed that girls learn better whithout boys because they can also dominate in sciense. Also special learning methods can be applied for the girls and so a selective learning is promoted.
But on the other side we all know that there is no wolrd without boys. The girls are going to have work with them and to cooperate with them, too.
At least it is to say that there are clever girls who go to a school just for girls and there are clever ones who visit a normal school for both sexes.

Main Tendencies in womens movement - Development 1970-1979

Feminism is a movement of women. They wanted equality and same rights for women and men. Just think about three famous persons who changed the world or did something really great: JUST MEN!! But what about Marie Curie or Mother Theresa? Hillary Clinton or even Coco Chanel. These persons have something in common: They are all women and they all did something what changed the world. Fortunallity we there was the feminism, a movement of women, because they wanted the same rights men have: right for voting, working and get payed they same way men do. They wanted to say what they were thinking, they wanted to be treated like men!
It feminism movement is divided in 3 groups:

1.Radicals
Their main problem was that everything is dominated by men,because they had all the power. They aim was it to "delete" all the men! They wanted a world without men. No men who are dominating them, no men in the government no men to help them to get their rights and equal treatment.
These radical women arranged quiet radical demonstrations like chaining themselves to railings or writing threats into meadows.

The second group of the feminists are:
The socialists
They wanted democracy: Everyone shoub be treated equal, men and women. They wanted to abolish the classes and through that they wanted to avoid men dominating women. But there was no way for an solution as long as the power and the wealth are monopolized by the minority.
If we compare these movements to current parties these women would join the "Linke". They joined anti-imperalistic movements and left-wing parties.

They were not averse to get help from men. As already mentioned these women wanted equality for everyone!

Similar to this socialistic group are:
The Liberals
This group is emerged from social protests and Anti-Vietnam War movements
Their main problem was that people had to many prejudices. Prejudices against women and also men. They wanted to change the sytem, not to overturn it! They called for a equal-system where everyone had the same rights, men and women!
For example they wanted laws so women can open a bank account. They wanted female role-models: a good example is Mother Teresa.

-Synthesis of the strength and weaknesses in all three tendencies
-New: relationship beteen biological sex and social conditions
-Favour of theory: male-female differences are innate
-Sceptical "gender is socially constructed and shift of focus: from "sex" to "gender"
-consideration of both: masculinity and feminity
-gender acquistion: precarious never finish process

So the new GENDER means that men can be sensetive, they are allowed to talk about their feelings without being "gay". Also women can be gender male when they drink beer or like quick cars.
Gender is viewed as a social construction rather than a biological condition.
Gender identity is an individual´s self-conception as being male or female, and is not necessarily identical with actual biological sex. People whose gender identity feels incongruent with their physical bodies may identify themselves as intersex, transgender or genderqueer. Androgyny means displaying both male and female behaviour.
Gender is influenced by our environment as well: Imagine a boy will grow up with gay parentes he would have a complitely different view of relationships than a boy who grows up and is educated in an abbey by friars.

Marriages - Divorce or true love for ever and ever

About one out of three marriages ends in divorce. In America almost one in two. But why? People get married because they love each other. They want to be together for ever. At their Weddingday they are willing the have this special bound of love for ever and still so many people get divorced.

Shouldn´t it be scaring for people who want to get married? I think people shouldn´t!!! If they love each other and they want to show their partner that they love him or her, of course they can get married. Just because so many other marriages broke up it doesn´t mean that EVERY marriage will break up.

The main reaon why people get married is LOVE.

Either just to show everyone how much they love each othe or just to have this special feeling "We are married!"
But there are several other reasons: pregnancy by accident, taxes or money. In some other cultures marriages get arrangend, so the persons have to marrie without loving or even knowing eath other.

As already mention people aso get married because of money or taxes. Things go much easer when you are married.
But what when there are children? A pregnancy by accident: People get married because of the children, they want the best for them:
But also children suffer the most after a divorce. They get bribed by mum and dad with expensive presents or promises. But all they actually want is that their parents love each other. Sometimes the children get so much demaged after a divorce that they have to be treated with medication or psychaitric treatment.

Why do people get divorced??
Well, some can´t just live with one person for the rest of their life. They can´t deal with that feeling to be bounded forever. Other just do not love eacht other anymore or there was a occurence like getting betrayed.

So, we see that that marriages are something realy compicated, but on the other side so easy. It is the way to show true and never ending love. It is the bond between to people, it can be the start for rising a family.

That is a nother important point: After marriage mostly women give up their job to stay at home and rise the children.
That´s why some companies may say they rather want a man for the job than a women because the woman might get pregnant. These days also men can stay at home and look for the children while women work and bring home the money.

So, all in all and beside the fact that so many marriages break up, it is still a romantic and lovely way to show how much you love your partner and marriage can make your partnership stronger. It is a bound for ever and ever made out of love, trust, integrity and care and it is a perfect start for rising a lovely family:)

Kate Chopin - The story of an hour

Kate Chopin is an american writer born in 1850. She wrote several short stories and novels. She is known to be a pioneer in the treatment of sexuality in American literature, discussing women´s desire to become a person in her own right.One of these novels is "The story of an hour".

In the story it shows how an hour can change a woman´s life.
After her sister told her about the bad news, Mrs. Mallard goes up into her room and thinks about her husband...She is actually realy happy about his death. That may sound weird, but we have to consider the time! Women were dependend on their husbands.
We don´t know why Mrs. Mallard is so happy. But she allways keeps wispering: " Free soul and free body." That show us, that she was dependend on her husband. He owns her.
So, Mrs. Mallard is sitting in her armchair thinking about her husband. She arrives the decision that she loved her husband sometimes but actually she is happy about his death. She feels free, her soul feels free.
After an hour of thinking Mrs. Mallard goes downstairs. Her husband just opend the door, he is alive. But it is to late: Mrs. Mallard died, she died of joy - joy that kills.
But what a joy was that? Joy because her husband came back, because he is still alive? Or because she was so happy about his death, that she died of joy?
We dont´t know!!

Bonding

Through the whole life people are bonded to other people. You need friends, family and partners to be happy, to talk to or just to have fun!

The maternal-bond is considered as one of the strongest bonds. It is the bonding between a mother and her child and starts with the birth of the child by laying the baby on the mother´s chest just after she gave birth. This bond will last through the whole life.

This bond is not to be mixes with the mother-bond. Some men got this bond and are excessively attached to their mother and still live with her while these men actually are expected to be indipendend at that age(30+).

In contrast to this maternal-bonding, the father-infant bond is developing with the growth and develop of the child. When daddies bathe, feed, carry ot soothe the baby it shows a greater bond. In some households children grow up without their dad so the father-infant bond doesn´t exist. In general the father-bon or paternal bond is more dominant in a child´s life after language developed.

A bond everyone should have is the human bond. A bond between two people. It refers to the process for formation of a close personal relationship. It can be between parent and child, friends or relatives.
Here also a good interpersonal chemistry plays a vital role.

Close to this interpersonal chemistry is the male/female bond. It defines the bonding between males/females excluding the other sex. Like girlsfriends going shopping and having a coffee together or two mates who drink beer and watch soccer in a bar.

Some of these bonds get even stronger or develop by using social networks. Which may include up to 150 people. With the recent popularity of the internet, websites like facebook, Myspace or Twitter encourage people to increase their friendship network: some people have friends in facebook without even knowing them or being friends.

In a relationship bonding plays a vital role. The affectional bond (emotional bond) refers to the tendency of humans to attach. They need seek closeness to the other person and feel good when he or she is present.
A nother bond, close to the relationship is the erotic bond. According to the Johnn Money´s book `love maps`(1988) every person has a love map wich includes his or hers experiences and predilections for something. It contains positiv and negativ factors, e.g. what they are attracted to: blond hair, blue eyes, sense of humour...

The humans best friend is the dog: human-animal bond. It is defined as a connection between people and animals and known to reduce the physiological characteristic of stress.

Some people treat their pets like their own children, e.g. clothes for dogs, expensive huts made out of gold...
Also this bond is used by retards. The dolphin therapy for example.

So, we can say bonding is important for us. We need others to be happy, to talk to or just to have fun with them..no matter if it is our mum, a good friend or a dog;)

Why men don´t listen and women can´t read maps!

There is a stereotyped female and a stereotyped male:

Men never listen, they hate shopping and romantic dinners. Men love beer and women with big boobs. They fart, burp and do not realy care about personal hygiene. They like cars, big machines and meat and rather watch TV and drink beer with their best friend than cuddle with their girlfriend. Men wont be able to through the household, ironing, cooking or washing-no way!And the most important!! Men LOVE sex! They want it everyday at every time and dont care about feelings and emotion.
That´s how men are...

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? Do you really think men are all the same?
Sure, most men like beer and spending the night infront of the TV, with their best friend watching football, but there are also men who like wine and just sitting on the couch reading a good book and having a glas of good wine.
The fact that men love women with big boobs is well-known and that´s a shame!
Lots of women worry about their boobs, about their legs or their bumb. "I am too fat, my boobs are to small and my bumb is huge..." Hey girls, don´t worry so much! How should a men love you when you yourself cant love you? It is a all-round cliché that men like women with big boobs more than women with smaler ones. Also men don´t always prefere girls who are skinny, they want something to touch!!

And women, don´t think men are not romantic!! A lot of men have a romantic side. They just don´t show it! A long walk at moonshine, roses and chocolate..Just tell him you need more romantic ( there are also couple of women who hate romantic!)

The wish of a perfect "hosueman", who cooks, does the washing and looks after the children...just a dream? Maybe in the past but in these days it is not unusually that the women is working and the men is staying at home and throughing the household.

And the never-ending story about the men who always wants sex: Well, we are all like animals who want to mate with each other. Men just follow this instinct. It is not always the thing to have sex, it is to show their love. Would you want to have sex with someone you don´t love? They like toughing the female body, feeling the heat and the smooth skin. They love our breasts( no matter what size) and they love our smell, our breath and our whole body. So remember this the next time!!
To bring to a close: Every men is different, you can´t put them in one box, they just have one thing in common: they love us women!

The Women, a open book or a only mystery. They are crestfallen romantic, love shopping, shoes and chocolate. They can talk and talk for hours on the phone about god and the world and alongside do hundreds of other things like cleaning the house, painting their nails, reading a gossip magazine and eat or watch TV.
Shopping-tours for hours and grumping about aching feet because of their high-heels.
Women are jealous. Just one look at a nother girl and you will get the devil look!!
And their indecision nucleas: "Darling, shall i rather wear the black dress or the red one? Does the green or the purple bag fit better?" A question a guy never could answer.
Women need their best friend, there are things they just can trust to their girlfriend.

But not all women are the same. It is a stereotype. Lots of women hate shopping for hours and don´t like high-heels. They don´t care if the bag goes with their dress or not and they rather eat a steak than chocolate. Some women hate romantic and some other women hate talking on the phone.
Some are more jealous than others and some aren´t jealous at all( but I think that rarity)
So the women are just as different as men are. That´s how it is supposed to be. Everyone is different and has different interests.
I think there is always a bit of a cliché. Just think about it;)

So even if you are jealous, love chocolate and like shoppinh for hours or you like beer, watching football and cars! You will find the right partner, for sure!

Courtship - When boys act like gentleman and girls are treated like real ladies

It already starts in kindergartenage: a little boy and a little girl sit in the sandpit. The boy is building a tower out of sand to impress the girl. He might give her his bucket and scoop...

Courtship traditionally means the "wooing" of a female by a male. Is it just the act of love by giving her a bucket or a "woooh" when she´s walking past shaking her sexy bum.
Now or hundreds of years ago men/boy used to court for a girl.
These days we have several opportunities for courting: internet, chatting, phone and cell-phone, online dating and lot of other things. More about that later.

But how did all these men court for their women in the las century or even when they didn´t have internet.
Here is a short trip back how the courting or wooing developed and changed:

In the Middle-Age in Europe royal families usually received a ship from a princess´fiancé upon her engagement and the ship would be displayed in the courtyard for one month prior the marriage ceremony.

Later the men wrote letters to their beloved. A nice exapmle is Shakespeare´s Romeo and Juliet: Romeo comes up to Juliet and is singing to her or brining a poem forward down at her balcony.

Other countries, other cultures: For example in Japan where a tpe of courtship, called Omiai, exsists: Parents hire a matchmaker to find the perfect partner for their child. The computer finds a potential match and if the couple agrees a formal meeting with the matchmaker and often the parents is arranged.

In other cultures it is much more different: like in Indian or Muslim cultures where the women get oppressed by their fathers and then after a arranged marriage their husband continues opressing her.

The actual Dating: After the courting a real date usually follows... They meet to get to know each other and to figure out weather the other one could be a potential partner. " Same interests, humour and behaviour " play a vital role.
These dates can taking place in a restaurant, a bar, a café, in a park for a walk..these are all the classical dating places.These days it is not unusually to date in the internet. Via facebook, twitter, MSN, icq, MySpace and several other online dating pages millions of people get to know each other by sending pictures, chatting or having a visual camera date via web-cam.

Back to the classic-western dating roles: It was a matter of course that the man payed the bill in the café or restaurant. In recent time, the practice to "go Dutch" ( splitt the expense) has emerged.
A little story...
From the beginning of the first date they get to know the other one pretty well (first impression!!). Afterwards they are going to decide weather they wanna see each other again or not.
Reasons for not meeting again could be: tied down, arising from loss of opportunity to date a variety of other people or they just din´d "fit" with the other on. (Different agendas, not the same humour or interests...)

But also there could be some reasons for a second date, because these two we just into each other. They could talk and talk for hours, laugh together and having fun.
So several other dates would follow and maybe on some day they would "go steady" and say: " We are a couple, we are boyfriend and girlfriend!"

Weather in the Middle-Ages, with a match-maker, the internet or just meeting and a cup of coffe toghether..
Courtship is a wonderfull thing and women love being treated like ladies sometimes!! So you guys...even if your girls wants to splitt the expense at the first date, the second date you could pay her coffe;)